


Down, Down, Down

by BedazzledDiana



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Brain Surgery, Character Death, Chronic Pain, Depression, Drug Addiction, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, M/M, Plane Crash, Surgery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BedazzledDiana/pseuds/BedazzledDiana
Summary: They were going to Boston, but everything went wrong, now they're left in the middle of nowhere fighting to survive
Relationships: Atticus Lincoln/Amelia Shepherd, Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt, Travis Montgomery/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 36
Kudos: 103





	1. Please Help Me, I'm Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine as me extremely bored sooo, I wrote a newer version of the plane crash. I hope you enjoy.

Levi’s head was pounding, a bright light was cast over his eyes. He groaned and opened them. He looked around and saw trees and grass. He squinted when the sun met his eyes. He tried to lift his right arm to cover his eyes, but couldn’t. He looked over and saw his right arm was under something. The rest of his body was attached to a seat. He lifted his head and looked at his legs, both bent at odd angles. He groaned and let his head fall back into the grass. 

Nico looked around. He grabbed his right arm and groaned. “Levi!” He yelled. His voice echoed into the distance. “Levi!” He yelled again. 

“N-Nico?” A voice answered. He looked around and saw a hill. He jumped down it. “Nico.” He saw part of the plane and saw Taryn laying by it.

“Taryn, where’s Levi?”

“Can you help me sit up?” Nico looked around. “Nico, I need you to help me sit up because my leg hurts, really, really bad. Nico!” He looked at Taryn. “Help. Me. Sit. Up.” She spat through gritted teeth. He stared at her for a moment before nodding. He walked over to her and took her hand in his left arm hand. He pulled her into a sitting position and groaned. “Thank you.” She looked down at her scrub bottoms. 

“I-I need a sling and to find Levi. Wait, wait, who-who else was on the plane?”

Taryn ripped her scrub pants and looked down at her leg. “Nico, how bad does this look?” Nico looked at it.

“Just a few surgeries. Your bone is still intact. You’ll be fine. Levi! Taryn, who else was on the plane?”

“Uh, um. Shepherd and Link, they-they were towards the front of the plane. Then there was Casey, who was next to me, and then Brody, Blake, they-they were at the back of the plane. Levi-”

“And I were at the front of the plane, but-Levi! God, where is he!”

Jackson walked into the attendings’ lounge. “Hey.” He greeted Jo. “So, I know this is still a touchy subject, but I talked to Alex today,” Jo rolled her eyes, “and he said that he really wants you to meet his kids."

“Tell Alex that I don’t want to see him and his stupid wife and kids.” She rolled her eyes again and Cormac walked into the lounge. “Hey, Cormac.” She greeted, smiling. Cormac smiled back.

“Did you know our residents haven’t made it to Boston, yet?”

“Hm, our residents who in three months will be attendings.”

“It’s gonna be weird seeing Schmitt, Helm, and Parker walk around with the dark blue scrubs.” Meredith laughed, walking in. “Oh, I haven’t heard anything from Amelia, have they made it to Boston yet?” She sat down next to Jo. 

“Cormac was just telling us that they haven’t yet.” Meredith looked at Jackson and then Jo, who shrugged. The pagers went off. Jackson looked at his pager. “Incoming trauma. All hands on deck.”

Jo and Meredith stood up. “Let’s move!” Meredith yelled as the four of them raced out. 

Link stood up and looked across the field. Amelia was laying on the ground, a gash on her forehead. “Amelia…” He groaned. Amelia opened her eyes and gasped. 

“Link!” Link pulled her into a sitting position. “Where are we? This-this isn’t Boston. What-what happened to the plane? We hav-” Banging interrupted her sentence. “What is that?”

“I-I don’t know. Stay here, I’ll go follow it.” Amelia nodded and laid back down in the grass. Link followed the banging and found more parts of the plane. He ran over to the part of the plane. “Who’s over there?” The banging stopped. “Nico?” Nothing. “Parker?” Nothing. “Helm? Brody? Simms?” Nothing. “Schmitt?” A bang. Link walked around the plane. “Schmitt, are you okay?” Levi lifted his left hand and banged it against the plane. Levi looked at him with pleading eyes. Link got on the ground. “Give me your hand.” Levi rested his hand on the grass and Link grabbed it. “You’re okay.” He brushed some hair off Levi’s face. “You’re okay.”

“I-” He sputtered up blood. “I can’t feel my legs. I-I can’t feel my legs. They-they’re still there?” Link looked at Levi’s legs.

“Yeah, they’re still there.” Levi nodded. Link stood up. “I’m gonna go find Nico.” 

“No, no. Ple-please. do-don’t leave me. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

“Li-Link, ple-please, pl-please.”

“I will be right back.”

Blake screamed and looked at Hannah. Casey looked at her for a second. “Casey, she-she-”

“She’s go-one. We-we can’t br-bring her back.” Casey put his fingers over her eyelids and forced them shut. “We-we ne-ed help.” He pulled himself into a sitting position. “My arm is-is dislocated. How’s your le-g.” 

Blake looked at it. One of them was out while the other one was under plane debris. “I-i can’t feel it. Neither of them.” Casey stood up. “I-I think they’re both crushed. I-We need to find the others. We have to tell them about Hannah.” Casey looked at him. “Casey-”

“I know, I kn-ow. I need to find help. I’m gonna go fi-nd Link or-or Nico, but-” Casey paused and looked at his arm. “I need you to pop my right arm into place and I’ll make a-a sling out of my jacket.” Casey stood over Blake, who looked at the arm before placing his hands on it. “Okay, 1, 2-Gah!”

Amelia heard leaves rustle and turned her head. Link was walking back over to her. She sat up. “Wh-what was that banging?”

“Schmitt.” 

“Oh, okay.”

“He’s dying.” Amelia opened his mouth. “He-he’s dying and I left him alone, but I can’t leave him alone because he’s dying. Amelia, Schmitt’s dying. I-I can’t help him. I think his spine was broken in the crash. Amelia, he’s dying.” She stood up. “Amelia, he-he-he-”

“Shh, sh, Where-where is he? I’ll go be with him.” Link looked around and pointed. “Okay, okay.” Amelia took a step. “Oh, what-what was that?” She looked at Link and then down at her leg. She lifted her pants and saw her ankle was twisted. “Oh, um,” she looked around, “go grab that stick for me.” Link looked at her before nodding and grabbing it. He handed it to her. “Thank you. Go find the others.” Amelia started her walk. She looked at the plane and felt tears in her eyes. She saw Levi. “Schmitt?” 

“Doc-Doctor Shep-pherd?”

“Hey, I’m gonna lay here, okay?” Levi nodded. “What hurts?”

“No-nothing.” Amelia felt her body go numb. “I’m dy-ing. I know I’m dying. My spine, it-it has to be bro-oken. I can’t feel my right arm. I can barely mo-ove my left hand. I’m pretty sure that I have a piece of the plane in-in my back that-that pun-ctured my kidney.”

“You’re okay.” Amelia grabbed his hand. “You’re okay.” Levi did his best to shake his head.

“I’m-I’m dying. I’m dy-ing and-and I nev-er to-told Nico I still love him.” Amelia tightened her grip on his hand. “I do. I still love him and-and I’ve lo-ved him since we broke up.” 

“Levi, you are not dying, okay? The world has plans for you. Big plans. You’re gonna be an attending and a trauma surgeon. A great trauma surgeon.” 

“Amelia, ple-please.” Amelia looked him up and down. She stood up and unbuckled his seat. “Amelia-”

“I’ve got you, Schmitt.” She wrapped her hands around his legs and started to pull him off his seat. She pulled him slowly and carefully and placed him on the ground. “See, you-” She looked at his back and watched as blood poured out of his back. “Shit!”

Meredith walked into the O.R. A scrub nurse placed a gown and gloves on her. She looked at Richard and smiled beneath her mask. “Hey.” She greeted him. “Don’t you have your dinner with the residents tonight?” She picked up her scalpel and made an incision.

Richard laughed. “Yeah. I do. I’m excited. I really like this group of residents. Reminds me of your group.” Meredith laughed. “I can’t wait.” Bailey walked into the O.R.

“Hey, have any of you heard from Link, Amelia, Blake, or Nico?”

“No, but Richard is excited about his dinner tonight.” Meredith looked down at her patient before looking back up at Bailey. “They never made it to Boston, did they?”

Bailey took a deep breath. “No, I never got the call that they made it.” Meredith put down her scalpel. 

Richard took a deep breath. “I don’t think we’re having our dinner tonight.”

Link walked over to where he saw a piece of plane. Taryn was sitting by it and Nico pacing. “Nico.” He spoke. Nico turned around and saw him. “I-Levi-”

“Where’s Levi?”

“He-he’s over there,” Link pointed, “is Taryn-” Nico was gone. Link sighed and turned to Taryn. 

“How’s Levi?” Link pondered before deciding she should know the truth.

“He’s dying.” 

Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked up at the blue sky. “It’s such a beautiful day. Almost like mother nature wanted him to die on a clear, sunny, warm day.” She sobbed. Link opened his mouth.

“Link, Taryn.” They turned their heads and saw Casey standing with his jacket as a sling. “Link, I-I need you to come. Blake is in bad shape. I think both of his le-gs are broken.” Link looked at Taryn then back to Casey then Taryn.

“Go. Go make sure Blake is okay. I’ll be fine here.” Link nodded and him and Casey took off.

Nico reached another piece of debris and saw Amelia holding Levi. “Is he-is he-”

“No, he’s still alive, but Nico-”

“Ni-co, I-I love you. I’ve always lo-ved.”

“You’re okay, right, Amelia? Tell him he’s okay.”

“Ni-co, I-I can’t fe-el any pa-in.” 

For a second Nico’s heart dropped. He grabbed Levi’s hand. “That’s good. That’s good, you’re not in pain.” 

“Nico, we-we both kno-w it’s not go-good. My spi-spine was bro-ken. I can’t fe-el anything. Amelia stopped my ble-bleeding, but I’m dyi-ing. I love you.” Nico felt tears in his eyes. He turned to Amelia. She shook her head. Nico nodded and looked at Levi.

“I love you. I love you and you’re not dying, okay? Not when the world has so many plans for you. Not when I came back so we could be together. I left the Mariners for you, so you better not die, okay? You cannot die. Please, don’t die.” Nico tightened his grip on his hand. 

Link and Casey walked over to Blake. “How you doing, Blake?” Link asked. Blake groaned in response. Link looked at Casey. “Parker, we gotta get this plane off him.” Casey nodded and got on the other side of the debris. “Okay, on three.” Casey took a deep breath and grabbed the debris with his left hand. “One, two, three.” They pulled it off, groans leaving their mouths. The debris landed in front of Blake. Link looked at his leg. “Shit.”

“How you feeling, Levi?” Amelia asked. Nico was laying next to Levi, holding him in his arms. Amelia was standing over them. “Levi?” She turned to Nico and Levi. “Is he-”

“No, no, he’s still breathing. They’re-they’re gonna come for us, right, Doctor Shepherd?” Nico was running his fingers through Levi’s hair. Amelia sighed.

“I-I don’t know.” Nico nodded.

Link and Casey were carrying Blake, Link supporting most of his weight. They saw Taryn and sat Blake down next to her. “There, now we’re all together.”

“Except for Levi, Nico, and Shepherd.” Taryn slurred. “Your legs look like shit.”

Blake nodded and looked up at Link. “Yeah, we’ll-we’ll probably have to perform a double amputation. One got crushed by plane debris and the other looks like a bad break." Casey sat down next to Taryn.

“The Sun’s starting to set. It’s gonna get dark and cold soon. We need to be together.” 

“Where’s Hannah?” Taryn asked. Link sighed. “Oh.” She leaned against Casey.

“We need to regroup and come up with a plan. I’ll go get Amelia, Levi, and Nico. Will you guys be okay?”

Taryn looked over at Blake who was falling asleep then Casey who was on alert. She nodded. Link sighed and started to walk away. 

Nico ran his fingers through Levi’s hair. “I love you, I love you. Stay alive. I love you.” He was muttered into Levi’s neck. Amelia saw Link and smiled. He ran over and pulled her into a hug. He looked behind her at Nico and Levi.

“Is he-”

“No.” She answered. “Not, uh, not yet, anyway.”

“We’re gonna regroup. I’ll carry Levi, Nico,” he called, gaining Nico’s attention, “can you support Amelia?” Nico looked from Link to Levi back to Link and nodded. Link smiled and walked over to Levi. He picked him up and groaned. Nico stood up and walked over to Amelia. They made their way to Taryn, Casey, and Blake. Link sat Levi down next to Casey, who grabbed his hand. Nico sat next to Levi. Amelia next to him and then Link last.

“They’re gonna find us, right?” Blake asked, slurring his words. Link sucked on air and looked up at the sunset.

“Yeah, we should’ve been in Boston hours ago. They know something is wrong.” He said, pulling Amelia close to him. Blake nodded and let his head fall on Taryn’s shoulder. 

“After Doctor Grey’s plane crash, they didn’t find them for a while.” Casey added. He sighed. “Sorry.” He muttered. The stars started to come out and the group grew quiet. After a few minutes, the only two awake were Link and Nico.

“Link?”

“Yeah?”

“I came back for Levi and he-he was in a relationship and-and happy, but I love him. I don’t wanna lose him.”

“I know.”

“But he’s dying.”

“I know.”

“Link?”

“Hm?”

“I’m scared.” Link looked at Nico’s silhouette. “I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose him.”


	2. If I Die Young

It was too bright. She couldn’t see past the blinding lights. There were voices and people were muttering asking her questions. _Wait, name? What’s my name?_ She was silent. “Mmm.” She muttered back.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” One of the voices asked. His voice was soft and polite. The blinding light was gone and she saw nurses and doctors.

“Taryn iz m’ n-”

“Got it, Taryn. My name is Elijah. I’m an orthopedic surgeon. I’m gonna take good care of you.” Taryn wanted to argue and fight, but she didn’t have the energy to. She simply nodded and let him place a mask over her face and tell her to count back from ten. She was too tired to cry out and say she didn’t wanna sleep, instead she did.

Amelia shot up in her bed. She felt her face and felt stitches. She looked around her room. “Where am I? I-I this isn’t my house. Where am I?” Nurses started to walk over to her. One reached out to her.

“Doctor Shephe-”

“Don’t touch me!” Amelia threw herself out of the bed. “Where am I? This isn’t my bedroom! Who-who are you!” She backed herself into a corner. favoring her good foot. 

“Amelia?” A voice called. She turned her head and saw Meredith standing in front of the door. “Hey.” Meredith gave her a smile.

“Meredith, thank god. Who are these people and where am I?” Meredith walked slowly towards her, with her hands in front of her. 

“You’re in a hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio.”

“I’m supposed to be in my bed.”

“Amelia, you were supposed to be in Boston.”

Amelia shook her head at Meredith. “I should be in my bed. I need to be in my bed. I need to go home. I’m going home!” She limped away from the wall and started grabbing blankets from the bed and folding them. Meredith turned to the nurses.

“Our psychologist is saying trauma induced psychosis.” One of them said. Meredith nodded and turned back to Amelia. 

Nico’s arm was in a sling, his other hand was holding Levi’s. Levi was hooked up to various machines. He was intubated and both his legs were in casts, along with his right arm. A knock pulled him away. He turned and saw Jo. She gave him a smile. 

“How is he?” She asked, walking into the room. Nico sighed and turned back to Levi. 

“We were out there for a day or two and I thought-I thought he was gonna die. He still might, but,” he squeezed Levi’s hand, “but he’s alive for now.” Jo put a hand on the small of his back. “He said he loved me.” Jo nodded and rubbed his back. 

“What’s the diagnosis?”

“Um, one of his legs was broken in the femur and the other one in the tibia. His humerus was broken. His arm was dislocated.” Nico pointed with his arm that was in the sling. “He, uh, his spine was broken in two different places, but they suspect it may be three.” He sighed. 

“And you?”

“Oh, um, just a fracture. I’ll live.” Jo nodded and leaned against him. “Do you know how everyone else is? I haven’t seen anyone else since I got here.”

“Taryn and Blake are in surgery, Meredith went to go see Amelia, Teddy and Owen are checking on Casey, and Link was sedated.” Nico nodded. 

Teddy and Owen heard yelling and found themselves running down the hallway and into a room. Casey was holding a scalpel in front of him, waving it at the nurses who were trying to help. Owen and Teddy shared a look. Owen stepped forward. “I wouldn’t-” Teddy held up a hand and the nurse nodded. Casey turned towards Owen, who was walking towards him slow and with his hands up.

“Lieutenant Parker, it’s Major Hunt, I’m gonna need you to put the scalpel down.”

“No! They tried to attack me!”

Owen turned towards the nurses. “We were told to prep him for surgery.” One of them said. Owen nodded and turned back to Casey.

“Lieutenant Parker, these are nurses. You are in a hospital in Cincinnati. You were in a plane crash. These nurses were ordered to prep you for surgery. Judging by your arm they’re putting a few plates in for the bone, okay?” Casey’s hands were shaking and he was crying. A whimper left his mouth. Owen reached out and grabbed the scalpel from his hands. He collapsed on the floor and Teddy raced over and collected him in her arms. He sobbed into her chest as they rocked back and forth. Owen turned to the nurses. “Tell whoever’s in charge that Parker will go into surgery in an hour, okay?” They nodded. Owen handed them the scalpel before turning back to Casey. Teddy was helping him get into the bed. She climbed in next to him. Owen stood there and sighed.

Bailey knocked on the door. A voice responded saying “come in”. She took a deep breath before opening the door. A woman sat in a chair with glasses on her face, reading a paper. She looked up at Bailey. She stood from her seat. “Chief Bailey, a pleasure.” She extended her hand and Bailey shook. The woman gestured for her to sit before sitting down herself. “I’m Amber. I’m the Chief here.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Amber.” Bailey offered the best smile she could muster with everything. Amber nodded.

“I wish it was for better reasons.” She paused. “Let’s get started.” Bailey nodded. Amber picked up papers. “There was one dead in the field: Hannah Brody. Casey Parker: dislocated right arm, trauma induced psychosis. Nico Kim: fractured right arm, emotional trauma. Atticus Lincoln: severe concussion, trauma induced psychosis. Taryn Helm: dislocated leg, mild concussion. Amelia Shepherd: head laceration, broken ankle, trauma induced psychosis. Blake Simms: crushed right leg, broken left leg.” Amber took a deep breath before continuing. “Levi Schmitt: broken femur, broken shin bone, dislocated right arm, vertebrae broken in two different places, although we suspect it to be broken in a third, his jaw had to be dislocated by one of our doctors.” She sat down her papers and took off her glasses. Bailey nodded. “Schmitt got the worst of it and I don’t know if he’ll make it. Things aren’t looking good thus far.” Bailey nodded again, her eyes filling with tears.

Blake was groggy and sore. A groan left his body as he opened his eyes. There was a bright light and people were talking. Voices were scattering across his brain. He closed his eyes before someone walked over to him and started touching his legs. He groaned. Someone was speaking to him. “Wh-”

“Hi, Doctor Simms.” A female voice greeted. Her voice was soft. Blake opened his eyes again and saw a woman and man standing over him. “This is Elijah, our Chief of Orthopedic surgery. He performed surgery on you today and he was hoping to talk to you.” She smiled before walking away. 

“Hi, Doctor Simms, I wanted to talk to you about your leg.” Elijah’s voice echoed in Blake’s skull. “Your right leg was completely crushed by the plane debris, I think it would be best to do an above knee amputation, okay?” 

“No.” Blake muttered. Elijah looked at him, surprised.

“I’m-I’m sorry? Doctor, Simms, I must ins-”

“No, I-I don’t wanna lose my leg.

“The bone was completely crushed. There’s nothing I can-”

“Fix it, inflate it, I don’t care, but I’m not losing this leg.”

Elijah sighed. “Doctor Simms, there’s nothing more I can for this leg. There’s no blood flow-” Elijah’s voice cut off. Blake saw someone else step into his line of sight. 

“Hey, Blake.” Tom smiled at him before turning to Elijah and gesturing for him to leave. He turned back to Blake. “You know he’s right. You’re a brain surgeon. You can still be a brain surgeon without a leg. The leg won’t receive blood flow. It’s as good as dead and you know it.” 

Blake felt tears swell in his eyes before he let out a sob. “Please, don’t let them take my leg, Tom.” He sobbed. Tom sighed and pulled Blake into a hug. “Tom.” He sobbed more.

“The leg needs to be amputated. There’s no beating around the bush. There’s no comfort. Now Doctor Drake is gonna bring you papers to consent to the amputation,” Tom pulled away, “you are going to sign the papers and get the surgery.” Blake nodded. Tom smiled and beckoned Elijah, who handed Blake a pen and a clipboard. Blake looked at Tom, who nodded, before signing. Elijah took the papers back and gave Blake a smile before walking away. 

Amelia walked into the room and looked at Link. She limped over to his bed and laid down next to him. She wrapped his arm around her and kissed his cheek. 

Teddy wheeled Casey into Levi’s room while Meredith pushed Taryn’s gurney in behind them. Taryn looked at Levi and sobbed. Casey stood up and walked over to Taryn's gurney before climbing in next to her. Nico squeezed Levi’s hand. Taryn grabbed Levi’s hand that was in a cast. Meredith and Teddy stepped out of the room. 

The anesthesiologist placed a mask over Blake’s mouth and nose. “Alright, count back from ten.” Blake took a deep breath in. 

“Ten, nine, eight… seven.... Six…” Then everything went dark.


	3. You Light Up My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, so this won't be getting update as quick anymore, I have one more chapter written that I can post whenever you guys would like, but after that i have nothing for awhile. I'm in college and haven't found anytime to write now. I hope you guys enjoy this, though! Please, let me know when you'd like that last chapter :)

***Seven Months Earlier***

Levi walked around the ER, keeping his iPad in his hands. He watched interns deal with patients, laughing at some of them, berating others. He shook his head before typing on the iPad. He felt someone smack his butt. He turned around. “What the he-Travis!” Travis raised his hands in a surrendering form. Levi shook his head and kissed Travis’ lips.

“Man, you can be scary.” Travis laughed. Levi rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the iPad.

“I’m working, go bother someone else.” 

Travis groaned and wrapped his hands around Levi’s waist. He kissed the top of Levi’s head. “But I love bothering you at work.” Levi laughed and stepped away when he heard the phone ring at the desk. He shook his head and picked it up.

“Hello, Grey-Sloan Memorial ER, Doctor Schmitt.” He paused and his demeanor changed. “Alright, I’ll let them know. Thanks, bye.” Levi hung up the phone before turning to the ER. “Everyone, listen up!” Patients, doctors, and nurses turned to Levi. “Ten car pileup! We have a major trauma incoming! ETA: ten minutes! Get ready for this room to be packed. Discharge what patients you can and get ready to extend the waiting room to have more examining rooms! Someone page cardio, neuro, general, ortho, and Hunt!” The doctors and nurses scrambled to do as told. Levi turned to Travis. “We still on for date night?”

“Yeah, I love you.” Travis kissed Levi before he took off to the ambulance bay. A soft smile found its way to his lips before he exited the ER.

***Now***

Casey climbed into bed next to Taryn. “We’re going home tomorrow. They’re making us get on a plane. I said no planes, but…” His voice trailed off. “With the condition Levi and Blake are in, they’re saying we have no choice.” He turned his head to face her. “They’re gonna sedate us, but we’ll know. I don’t wanna get on the plane.” Taryn looked at him.

“You think he’s gonna make it?” 

Casey was silent. “He has to.” She nodded and looked up at the ceiling.

“He’s my person.”

Casey followed her movements and looked at the ceiling. 

When Casey came to again, he was being rolled down a familiar hallway. He recognized the walls of Grey-Sloan Memorial. He smiled and let his eyes drift close.

***Seven Months Earlier***

“Great work, Parker.” Teddy smiled at him as he finished his first solo heart valve repair. The O.R. erupted in applause. He smiled beneath his mask. 

“Thank you, but I couldn’t have done this without you, Major Altman.” Teddy smiled at him.

“Go ahead and have your intern close. Then you can scrub out.” Casey nodded and pointed to his intern, who nodded at him. After she finished closing, he walked out of the O.R. and threw his linen in the linen basket before scrubbing out. He walked down the hallway and saw doctors and nurses racing down the hallway. An intern bumped into him. He turned around and looked at him.

“I’m so sorry, Doctor Parker.”

“What’s going on?” The intern shrunk in on himself. “Well?”

“Oh, um, major trauma incoming. The entire ER is about to be flooded with patients. Doctor Schmitt ordered all hands on deck.” He finished and looked at the floor. Casey raised a brow at him.

“Well, if there’s a major incoming, why are you still?” The intern jumped and opened his mouth. “Go!” The intern nodded before taking off. Casey shook his head and started to make his way to the ER.

***Now***

She knew where she was. Everything was familiar. “Momma!” A voice greeted her as she opened her eyes. Scout was sitting in a chair next to Meredith. Amelia reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Hi, baby.” She smiled. Scout smiled back and kissed her hand. “Did you and Aunt Meredith have fun while mommy was gone?” Her voice was hoarse and her head was pounding. Scout nodded. “Good.” She winced and pulled her hand away. Meredith stood up and kneeled in front of Scout.

“How about we let mommy get some more rest and come back later?” He nodded. Meredith turned to Amelia. “We’ll be back before visiting hours are over, okay?” Amelia nodded and waved to Scout. 

“Bye, Scout."

“Bye, mommy!” 

***Seven Months Earlier***

“Mommy!” Scout shouted from upstairs. “Daddy’s hogging the bathroom and I have to go potty!” Amelia internally groaned. 

“When I got pregnant, I thought I’d have one kid, nope I have two.” She muttered to herself as she folded laundry. “Link! Let Scout go to the bathroom!” She yelled upstairs. She heard thumping before the door finally opened. She heard some more pounding before Link was in front of her. 

“Major trauma incoming. Owen asked if we could come in. He needs all hands on deck.”

Amelia looked at his legs. 

“Wanna pull your pants up before or after we leave?” Link looked down and groaned before pulling them up. “I’ll stay with Scout, but you can go.” Link nodded and kissed her. “I’ll come there once Scout is ready, okay?” Link nodded again and walked out the door.

***Now***

Nico raced down the hallway, tears streaming down his face. He stopped in front of Levi’s room. Nurses and doctors were performing CPR. “Is he…” One of the nurses turned and looked at Nico. 

“Doctor Kim,” she started, grabbing his arm, “you can’t be he-” Nico ripped his arm from her grip.

“Get it back, please. Bring him back. He’s my everything. Levi, fight, please, fight!” He screamed. He felt arms wrapping around him. “No, please, please.” They were pulling him away from Levi. He fought against them. “Levi!” He was pulled into an on-call room. The person let go. He looked up and saw Jackson. “They have to bring him back.” Jackson nodded.

“They will, but you have to let them do their job.”

Nico nodded and wiped his face; Jackson pulled him into a hug.

***Seven Months Earlier***

Nico paid his Uber before stepping out into the cold, Seattle air. He smiled and slung his bag over his shoulder. He walked through the doors of Grey-Sloan Memorial and watched as people went about their business. His smile grew as he walked over to reception. He gave the woman a smile. “Hi, Nico Kim. I’m here to see one of your surgeons?”

“Do you have an appointment?” She asked, returning the smile.

“Uh, no, actually, I’m here for personal reasons.” Nico looked down and opened his bag before pulling out his ID. He showed it to her. 

“Ah, _Doctor_ Nico Kim.” She corrected, taking the ID. “You work for the Mariners?” She asked. Nico nodded. “That’s pretty cool.” She handed him his ID back. “Who are you here to see?”

“Doctor Levi Schmitt.” The receptionist turned to her computer and started typing. Nico took a deep breath.

“Doctor Schmitt is in the ER today. Would you like me to call him and let him know you’re here?”

“Uh, no!” Nico exclaimed. “No,” he tried again, quieter. “I’m actually here to surprise him.” She nodded. 

“Alright, you can head there, just be careful.” Nico nodded and thanked her before starting to make his way to the ER. Halfway there he saw doctors start racing to the ER. He raised an eyebrow and shrugged. Until Bailey started making her way to the ER. Nico stopped her.

“Chief,” he called, “what’s going on?” He asked. Bailey looked at him with her mouth open. “Chief?” She shook her head.

“Major trauma. I’m granting you privileges. Lincoln isn’t here yet, but we need ortho. Go give your stuff to an intern and let’s go.” Nico nodded and saw an intern standing behind him. He handed his stuff to her and ran to the ER. Patients were already cycling in. “Kim, go to the ambulance bay!” Bailey yelled at him. He nodded and grabbed a gown and gloves and ran out to the ambulance bay. There was already someone out there waiting. 

“Hey.” Nico greeted the person, who turned around. “Levi.” He breathed. Levi looked at him before turning around to face away from him. “How’ve you been?”

“What are you doing here?” 

“I came here to see you.”

Levi was silent. Nico opened his mouth, but was cut off when the ambulance arrived. A paramedic jumped out. “John Doe. About thirty-five. Stats are low. He’s got head trauma.” Levi nodded.

“Alright, let’s get him into trauma two.” Then Levi was gone. Nico sighed and nodded to himself.

***Now***

Taryn had requested, well, more like begged to be put in a room big enough for her and Levi. Her wish was granted two days after they arrived back at Grey-Sloan. She grabbed Levi’s hand and held it. She felt at peace knowing he was alive, even if it was only for now. A knock interrupted her thoughts. She turned her head and saw Travis, behind him was Vic, Maya, Andy, Sullivan, Jack, and Dean. They were all holding gifts.

“How is he?” Travis asked, walking into the room, holding flowers. He sat them down by Levi’s feet.

“He almost didn’t make it.” Taryn answered, groaning.

“Sorry, we’ll get out of your hair.” Maya added, placing a teddy bear at Levi’s feet.

Vic and Andy stepped forward. Andy had more flowers and Vic balloons. Andy sat her flowers down, while Vic tied the balloons to the bed. “How are you?” Vic asked. Taryn let out a dry chuckle.

“I’ve been better.”

Sullivan placed a card on Levi’s table. “It’s from the whole station.” Jack placed a stuffed polar bear next to it, Dean sat a stuffed dog next to it. Vic, Maya, Andy, Sullivan, Dean, and Jack gave Taryn a smile before walking out. Travis sat down in the chair next to Levi’s bed. 

“I would’ve come to the hospital in Ohio, but… No, there’s no excuses. I should’ve been there.” Travis wiped his face as his eyes filled with tears. “Is he gonna be okay?” Taryn sighed. 

“They don’t know. They lost his heartbeat yesterday.”

Travis nodded. He stood up and kissed Levi’s cheek before placing his mouth right next to his ear. “Hey, I love you, so stay with me, okay? I’m not ready to lose you.” He whispered before moving towards the door. “I, um, I’m still on-call, so I gotta get back to the station.” Taryn nodded. “Let me know if anything changes.” 

“I will.”

“Thanks, Taryn.” He gave her a smile before walking out of the room. Taryn watched him leave and sighed, turning her attention back to Levi.


	4. If You Wanna Be Happy

***Six Months Later***

“So, you’re never gonna believe who texted me today.” Jo said, walking into the room. She sat down next to Levi. “Alex did. You know what he had the audacity to say to me?” She was meant with silence. “He said ‘I know things ended on bad terms, but I’ve tried to reach out to you various ways. Izzie really wants to meet the woman who turned me around. Please, just think about it, okay?’ Can you believe that? He left me for her and now he wants me to meet her?” She blew air out of her mouth. “No, thank you.” She laughed and scrolled through her phone. “Oh, and also, Casey proposed to his girlfriend. See?” She showed him a picture of Casey and his girlfriend kissing. “They’re so cute.” She brought it back to herself. A knock interrupted her.

“Hey.” Link greeted, walking into the room. “How’s sleeping beauty?”

Jo let out a chuckle. “He’s good. I told him about Alex.” Link nodded. “I feel like if I tell him something crazy enough, he’ll wake up.” 

“Yeah, me too, but he’s alive.”

Jo nodded. “Is Amelia coming back to work?”

“No, she’s, uh, she’s not ready yet. That’s okay because Simms comes back soon.” Jo nodded and grabbed Levi’s hand.

“I miss him.”

“Yeah, we all do.”

“Hey, any improvements?” A voice asked. Jo and Link turned and saw Travis standing in the doorway.

“Uh, no, not yet.” Jo answered. Travis nodded and entered the room. “He’s just sleeping.” She smiled and nodded to herself. 

“Isn’t that what a coma is?” Travis asked. Jo nodded. Another knock and then another person walked in.

“Link, I need-who are you?” Travis turned around and saw Nico. 

“I’m Travis.”

“Uh, okay Travis. Can you please step out so I can talk to these two doctors _?”_ Nico asked, closing the door. Link and Jo shared a look. 

“I’m visiting my boyfriend. Can’t you go to another place?” Nico looked taken back, but quickly caught himself and nodded.

“Doctor Lincoln, can we speak?” Link nodded and followed him out into the hallway. “Who’s that?”

“Travis Montgomery. Levi’s boyfriend. I’m surprised you haven’t met him yet.” Nico nodded. 

“I, uh, met him a couple of times, just…” Nico took a shaky breath. “I guess, I never caught his name.” They both went silent for a moment.

“What did you need?” Link asked, breaking his silence and crossing his arms.

“How long have they been together?” Nico was looking past Link. Link followed his gaze into the room, where Jo and Travis were talking. Link looked back to Nico.

“Uh a couple years. I think two, maybe three.”

Nico felt his throat get tight and nodded. “That’s-that’s a long time to be with someone…” Link sighed.

“Listen, I need to be with Jo and Amelia, why don’t you go home, Nico?” Nico shook his head.

“I-”

“Nico, don’t go back in that room. Let Jo and Travis be, okay?”

“Link, I-”

“Nico, I’m serious. Don’t go in that room.” Link looked at him then the room and walked away. Nico watched him walk away and sighed before following after.

Blake was glaring at the wall. Glaring at the same wall that was painted the exact same everywhere else in the hospital. He groaned and threw his head back. He glared up at the ceiling that was painted the exact same as the walls. He groaned again and shut his eyes. A knock on his door made him open them again.   
“How you feeling today?” Tom’s familiar voice asked, walking into his sight.

“Like shit. These walls are exactly the same. I’ve counted every screw on this whole damn floor. There’s 2,678.” Tom let out a laugh and shook his head. 

“Well, Link says you’ve made real progress with your left leg. He mentioned you’ve been meeting with the same guy who helped Doctor Robbins find her prosthetic. Find any you like?”

“I’d like my real leg.”

Tom sighed. “Not possible, Blake. You know as well as I do tha-”

“Look at me, Tom! I’m a Neurosurgeon and I can’t do shit! I’m stuck in this bed and I’ll probably never perform surgery again!” Blake felt tears in his eyes and wiped them away.

Tom shook his head. “You wanna know who’s never gonna perform surgery again?” Blake was silent, avoiding Tom’s eyes. “Hannah Brody. You know who may never perform another surgery again? Schmitt. You need to get better because Brody is dead. Because Schmitt may not live. So you need to live. You need to live for them.” He looked Blake over before walking out of the room, leaving Blake to his thoughts.

Amelia was huddled in a corner, she was holding her head in her hands and rocking back and forth. Her hospital bracelet sliding up and now her wrist. She had tears forming in her eyes. “We’re okay, we’re fine, we’re okay, right, Link?” She asked to the empty room. “We’re okay.” A knock sounded on the door. Amelia made no reaction to hearing it. The door opened.

“Doctor Shepherd, good afternoon.” The nurse smiled down at Amelia. “Amelia?”

“Something’s wrong. Link, can you respond? How’s Levi doing? Is he still awake? Wake him, please. Link, make sure he’s okay. We need to get a tourniquet on Blake’s leg, cut off the blood supply. Link? Link?” The nurse looked at Amelia.

“Amelia, I have your meds, I need you to take them. Amelia, if you don’t-”

“Something’s wrong. This isn’t normal plane turbulence. We’re going down.”

The nurse nodded to herself. “I need sedation in here.” Her voice was barely a shout into the hallway. Two other nurses came in and walked over to Amelia. One held her as the other administered the medicine.

“No, no, no, no! No… No… No… Please…” Her voice drawled off as her eyes closed. 

Casey walked out of the OR and sighed, leaning against the wall. “You good?” A voice asked. He turned and saw Meredith. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m great. Just finished a heart valve repair. It’s a rush.” He smiled. Meredith gave him a smile back. 

“I’m getting ready to do an appendectomy.” Casey nodded. “You like being a cardiothoracic surgeon?” He let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, I mean, I thought I would’ve been a trauma surgeon, but Major Altman made me realize I wanna be in cardio.” 

Meredith nodded. “Have you been by to see Sch-Levi yet?” Casey froze for a second, his smile almost falling. 

“Why? No offense, but the hospital he’s at is in San Francisco and it’s-well that’s a trip. Taryn and I have talked about taking a few vacation days and visiting him.” Meredith’s smile fell. “We wanna surprise him, though.” Casey let out a chuckle. “Anyway, I need a nap. Good luck with your surgery, Doctor Grey.” He waved to her and walked away. Meredith stared after him before turning into her OR.

All the way in New York City, New York, Taryn operated on patients with older attendings looming over her surgery. “You’ve got a great technique. Where’d you do your residency?” 

Taryn felt a chuckle rise in her throat. “Uh, Grey-Sloan in Seattle.”

An attending made a noise. “Did you get work under Meredith Grey?” He chuckled. Taryn sat down one of the scalpels before picking another one up. 

“Yes, actually. Meredith was one of my teachers. I worked under her a lot.” The room grew silent. “She’s an excellent teacher and it was my privilege to work under her.”

“Well, I must say, Meredith Grey is an excellent teacher.” A new voice said, entering the OR. “You’re doing great, Helm.” Taryn turned and smiled at Arizona. “Want me to go update her family?”

“Yes, thank you, Doctor Robbins.” Taryn turned back to her patient as Arizona walked out of the room. 

Jo sat in a chair next to Levi’s bed. She turned her head when she heard the door open. “Hey.” Meredith greeted walking into the room. “Any changes today?” Jo shook her head. Meredith nodded and sat down next to her. She offered Jo a coffee.

“Thanks.”

“I was talking to Alex today and he’s coming up here so I can see the kids again.”

“Are you asking me for permission, again, Meredith?” Meredith went silent. “Meredith, Alex is one of your best friends, I don’t care if he brings his kids up to see you. You’re aunt Meredith.”

Meredith took a swig of her coffee. “Izzie’s coming up too. I haven’t seen her since we were residents. Her, Alex, and I are gonna get lunch. If you want-”

“Meredith, please, stop.” Meredith looked at Levi. “I just don’t wanna talk about it, okay?” Jo sighed. “I just-” She leaned forward and grabbed Levi’s hand. “Normally when Alex comes here, Levi and I go out and have drinks and talk shit on him. I just, I can’t do that now.” Meredith nodded. 

“I get it. What you’re going through now is what Arizona, Cristina, Derek, and I went through after our plane crash. Well, Jackson, Alex, Callie, and April too. It was hard. Even now, things aren’t the same. Things have never been the same since we lost Mark and Lexie.” She sat her coffee down and grabbed Jo’s hand. “Schmitt’s a fighter, he’s always been a fighter.” Jo felt tears in her eyes. “He’ll get through this.” She felt a sob well up in her chest. “Come here, Jo.” Jo leaned into Meredith as she broke off into sobs. 

Nico stood outside the door listening to Jo’s cries. He felt tears falling down his face too. “Nico, we should-” Link walked over to Nico and froze. “Are you okay?” Nico wiped his eyes.

“Yeah. I’m good. What did you need?” Link looked through the glass at Meredith and Jo before looking back at Nico.

“Um, trauma came in. Multiple broken bones that need setting. I wanted to know if you wanted to help for old times’ sake.” Nico looked at Levi.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Link nodded and the duo started to make their way to the OR, passing Travis. Nico stopped in his tracks and watched Travis knock on Levi’s door before entering. He sighed and started following Link again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!! I hope you had a great holiday during these trying times!


	5. If Tomorrow Never Comes

***One Month Larter***

Taryn groaned and sat down in the break room. “I am so tired.” She heard a chuckle from behind her. She turned around and saw Arizona walk into the break room. “What’s funny?” 

“Nothing just, it sucks being an attending, huh?” Taryn groaned again. “We haven’t had a real chance to talk since you’ve been here.” Arizona sat next to her. “How’s everyone at Grey-Sloan been?” 

“Uh, good. I haven’t talked much to Casey since I’ve been here.” 

“Yeah, and Levi?” Taryn went silent. “Taryn, how’s Levi been? Is he married? Got any kids? A lovely wife? I bet he’s got three lovely kids.” Arizona chuckled. “So, am I right?” Taryn looked at Arizona with tear filled eyes. “Taryn…”

Taryn opened her mouth when he pager went off. She looked at it and wiped her tears. "Um, I have to go. Major trauma incoming. Doctor Adams is paging me.”

Amelia, Meredith, Blake, Tom, Jo, Teddy, Link, and their residents walked into Levi’s room. “Alright,” Amelia started and pointed towards a resident, “you present.” 

The resident nodded. “Levi Schmitt. Thirty-three. Was involved in a plane crash where his spine was broken in three places along with head trauma. Today we will be going in to repair his spine and stabilize it. Doctor Grey and Doctor Link are also going in to repair bone and spleen damage.”

“Great. You,” Jo pointed to another resident, “how long will this surgery take?”

“Doctor Lincoln said roughly fourteen hours.” Jo nodded.

Meredith added. “And that’s exactly why there’s three neurosurgeons, two general surgeons, two cardiothoracic surgeons, and-”

“Two ortho surgeons. Sorry, I’m late, but I needed to make an entrance.” Nico said, smiling. “Let’s go do this surgery then.”

Casey walked down the halls and smiled to himself. His phone pinged. He looked down at it and smiled when he saw a message from his fiancé. 

“Hey, Casey!” Maggie’s cheerful tone cut into his head. He looked up and saw her, smiling. “Is that a text from the lovely Carly?” 

“Yeah. She, uh, she sent me a picture of herself in her new scrubs. She starts at Seattle Pres today.”

“Oh, that’s lovely! What is she?” 

“She’s a diagnostician.”

“Oh, wow, impressive. You know we need to meet her one day.”

Casey laughed. “Yeah, well don’t get your hopes up. She’s busy and travels… a lot.” Maggie nodded. 

“Well, I’ll meet her someday.” 

Casey walked into an on-call room and dialed a number. It rang a few times before the person answered. 

_“Hi.”_ Taryn’s voice greeted.

“Hey.” He sat down on the bed. “He’s going into surgery today. Well, he’s been in there for a couple hours now.”

Taryn went silent. _“You think he’ll be okay?”_

“I’m not hopeful. Amelia is refusing to do an EEG. I think he’s pretty much gone though.”

_“Let’s think positive. For Levi.”_

Casey nodded. “For Levi.” He paused. “How’s New York?”

Taryn let out a laugh. _“Good. I love working with Arizona. Callie’s nice too.”_

“How is Arizona?”

_“She’s good. She asks about Levi and I never know what to say.”_

“The truth?”

_“No… I don’t want to. Saying it out loud makes it seem…”_

“Real?”

_“Yeah.”_

Casey went silent. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you.”

_“Bye.”_

“Bye.”

“Okay, scalpel.” Meredith said, a scrub nurse handing it to her. “Making the first cut in the abdomen. How you doing, Link, Amelia?” 

“Good back here, Mer. I can see Levi’s nervous system. I think I can get back most of his movement by,” a crack sounded through the OR, “doing that. Okay. Link.” Amelia and Link switched places and started placing the rods, removing the older ones.

“You think we’ll get a majority of his movement back?” A new voice asked walking into the OR. Everyone looked at Maggie.

“Yeah, well, that’s the hope.” Amelia craned her neck. “How long has it been?” She asked.

“We’re at the twelve hour mark, Doctor Shepherd.” A nurse answered. Amelia nodded. 

“Okay, I’m tapping out. Tom go scrub.” A nurse took her head light off.”

Link sighed. “Speaking of switching. Nico, go scrub.” His head light was taken off and he cracked his back. Nico and Tom walked out. “Okay. Good luck with the rest of the surgery.” He smiled and walked out, Amelia behind him. 

“Good luck, Tom.” She said, smiling. He nodded and walked back in. “Nico, are you sure you can do this?” Link and Nico turned to her.

“Yeah, I’m fine Doctor Shepherd.”

“Nico… I was there. I was there when you and him-”

“Doctor Shepherd, I am fine.” He turned the faucet off and shook his hands. “Now, if you don’t mind, I am gonna go perform a kickass surgery.” He walked into the OR. Amelia turned to Link and started washing her hands. 

“What happened?”

Amelia sighed and grabbed a towel. “It’s not my place to say.” Link nodded and watched her walk away. 

Casey sat in the on-call room, wiping his eyes every few seconds. A knock interrupted his cry. “Occupied!” He called.

“It’s Doctor Shepherd!” The person responded. Casey stood up and unlocked the door. Amelia walked in. “Link and I just switched with Koracick and Kim.” Casey nodded. She took a deep breath. “Things are looking good, Casey.”

“Yet you refuse an EEG which is the only thing saying he isn’t brain dead. Amelia, I respect you, but you are refusing an EEG. This surgery could be pointless. He could be gone.” 

Amelia stared at him and took a deep breath. “I came to update you. I’m gonna go back and monitor the surgery. Let me know when you’re ready to be positive. Call Helm and let her know.”

Blake walked into the gallery and sat down next to Link. “How’s the rest of the surgery going?” Link looked at him.

“It’s going great. Amelia and I just tagged Tom and Nico in.” Link looked back at the OR. Blake nodded. “How’d your nap go?”

“Good. Brain surgery is… It’s a lot harder with one leg. That took so much energy out of me.” Link nodded again. “Will it get easier, Link?” Link turned back to Blake.

“It definitely does. I’ve performed amputation on football players, baseball players, hockey players and more. Some can go back to their careers, some can’t. It depends on their will. You got enough will?”

Blake swallowed. “I hope so.”

“You either have will, or you don’t.”

They both turned to the OR when a flatline echoed throughout the room. Teddy was doing CPR. Link stood up and ran to the speaker. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. Tom looked up.

“We lost the heartbeat. Altman is working on it. It’s okay, right, Altman?” Tom looked at Teddy through the top of his eyes. Teddy looked at him.

“I need to crack his chest and start cardiac massage.” She took her hands off his chest. “Scalpel.” A nurse handed her a scalpel. She made the cut and handed it back. 

Taryn walked into her apartment and sat down on the couch and sighed. Her phone rang and she picked it up without looking at the ID. “Hello?” She answered.

 _“Hey, Helm!”_ Arizona’s chipper voice said through the phone speaker. _“Callie and I are going out for drinks tonight, wanna come?”_ She looked at the time. _He still has another hour or two,_ she thought. 

“Sounds great. Text me the info.” She smiled to herself.

Nico stepped out of the OR, fighting back tears. It was over, they were done. He washed his hands and ran out and found the nearest empty room. It was a supply closet. He broke down, sobs echoing through the empty room. It was done. The hardest surgery he’d ever done was over and he could finally break down. He grabbed his chest and collapsed to the ground. A scream left his mouth followed by another. He stood up and wiped his tears. He walked over to the door and exited the closet. 

Jo had called Travis and told him the surgery ended. She told him what had happened. She walked into Levi’s room and saw Amelia, Blake, Meredith, Andrew. Casey, Tom, and Link. 

“How long?” Jo asked. 

“Any time now.” Amelia answered. They were all staring at Levi.

“Travis and Station 19 are here. I told them what happened.” Amelia nodded. “Where’s Nico?”

"He was in surgery when Levi flatlined. I don’t know where he is now.” Link answered. Jo nodded.

“Okay, Amelia, Schmitt has been out of surgery for an hour now. He hasn’t woken up yet. I think it’s time we do an EEG and pronounce him brain dead.” Tom said, looking at her. Amelia nodded and felt Link put on hand on her shoulder. 

“Wait!” Blake yelled. “Did-did you see that?” He asked. Amelia and Tom walked closer to Levi. His eyelids moved. The room got silent, everyone held their breath. A minute later Levi’s eyelids opened. Cries filled the room. Amelia felt a tear slide down her face. She wiped it away and stepped into Levi’s field of vision. 

“Hey, Levi, It’s Amelia. Can you see me?” Levi’s eyes moved up down her. Slowly, his head nodded. “Good. You were just in a very long surgery and I wanna see if we made any progress. I’m gonna put my hands in yours and I want you to try and squeeze them, okay?” He nodded again. She did what she said and slowly and weakly he grabbed them back. “Yes! Okay, okay.” She turned to everyone in the room. They were all smiling. She turned back to Levi. “Okay, I’m gonna take this blanket off and touch your legs. Let me know if you can feel my hands, okay?” He nodded again. She took the blanket off and touched one leg. “Feel that?” He nodded. She touched the other. “And that?” He nodded again. Her smile grew. “It worked!” Her smile grew and Levi’s eyes smiled. “The surgery worked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Late New Year! Three days in, how's the new year for everyone? So far it's involved a little too much yelling lol, not bad yelling, just yelling.


	6. Dare You To Move

***A Month Later***

Amelia walked into Levi’s room, a big smile on her face. “Good morning, Levi.” She greeted. “How you feeling?”

He cleared his throat. “Like shit.” His throat was still sore from being intubated for so long. 

“That’s good. Squeeze my hands.” He did. “Good. You’re getting stronger. That’s good. You wanna get out of bed today?” Levi thought for a moment. 

“Can I go to an OR gallery?”

Amelia laughed. “I think I can make an exception for you.” She made a gesture by the door. Andrew walked into the room. “I have a surgery but DeLuca is on babysitting duty.” Andrew and Levi laughed. “Good luck.” Amelia walked out of the room.

“So, we’re getting out of bed today?” 

Levi was silent for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, yeah. I-I’ve been in this bed for about what? Eight months now? I need to get out of this bed and this room too.” Andrew nodded and smiled. He walked out of the room and returned with a wheelchair. 

“Let’s get out of this room then.” He pushed the wheelchair up to the bed and put the brakes on. “Okay, you haven’t moved all that much in months so you need to be patient with yourself, okay, Levi?” Levi nodded. “Okay.” Andrew unhooked his machines and moved his IV pole to the wheelchair. “Ready?” Levi nodded. Andrew looped his arms around Levi. Levi put his arm around Andrew. “One, two, three.” Andrew started lifting Levi. 

“Ahh!” Levi screamed in pain. Andrew put him back down. “Keep going, please.” A sob left Levi’s mouth. Andrew shook his head, but complied. Levi let out another scream. Andrew kept trying to pick him up.

“DeLuca, what the hell are you doing?” A new voice asked. Andrew turned around and saw Tom.

“He wants-”

“What? To walk, leave this room? No. Absolutely not. DeLuca, put him down now.”

“Tom, Amelia said-”

“I don’t care what Amelia said. Schmitt’s body can’t handle the moving yet. Put him down.” Andrew sighed, but listened.

“No, no, no!” Levi screamed. “Get him out! Andrew get him!” Levi started thrashing around.

“Levi, calm do-”

“Get him out!” 

“Schmitt, you need-”

Levi’s hand wrapped around his IV and ripped it out. He screamed and thrashed around more. Andrew walked over to Tom and pushed him out of the room. Levi screamed and screamed. Andrew shut the door and grabbed gauze and placed it on his arm where blood was dripping from the IV. Sobs left Levi’s mouth.

Nico walked out of the OR and smiled to himself. He felt a hand slap on his shoulder and Link walked next to him. 

“One of these days we’re gonna have to do a surgery together. For old time’s sake.” Link had a big smile on his face. Nico looked at him and nodded.

“Oh, yeah, no, we, uh, definitely. We need to.” The duo started walking away from the OR rooms. 

“When are you going back to the Mariners? I didn’t think staying at Grey-Sloan was a permanent gig.” They reached the elevators and Link pushed the ‘up’ arrow.

“Uh, it is actually.” The duo stepped into the elevator. “I’m staying. For Levi.” Link went silent for a moment and pressed the button to the main floor. Nico turned to him. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You got that look on your face. The ‘that’s a terrible idea’ face.” Link was silent again. Nico hit the emergency button. A ringing sound echoed as the elevator stopped. “What?”

“Levi is happy. He is in love with Travis. They love each other and you need to move on. Levi has.” Nico stared at him, hit the button again and the second the doors opened, he stepped out.

Levi stared past the walls and out past the door. Andrew was talking to Amelia, most likely letting her know what happened. Amelia turned to Levi’s room. They locked eyes through the glass. Levi turned away and stared at the wall. He heard his door open. 

“Go away, Doctor Shepherd.” 

“But I brought flowers.” A voice answered that was definitely not Amelia. Levi turned his head and saw Travis. “I can go.”

“No! No. You can stay. Please stay.” Travis smiled at Levi. He sat the flowers down on the table and walked over to Levi. He leaned down and kissed him. 

“My bed is very big without you.” He whispered against Levi’s lips. Levi chuckled. Travis sat down and grabbed Levi’s hand. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“I tried to get out of bed.”

“I heard.”

“I-Not good.”

“That’s okay. You’ll get up one day.” Travis’ smile was reassuring. Levi smiled back at him. “How has solid food been going?”

“I have been enjoying mashed potatoes and gravy.” Travis and Levi laughed. 

“Oh, my god.”

Levi’s smile fell. “What?”

“I-I have missed that laugh and that smile and your voice and you. I missed you.” Levi smiled again. 

“I love you too.” 

Amelia walked into the house and threw her bag on the couch. “Link, Scout!” She yelled in the house. “Are you guys here?” She heard running and then Link and Scout were in front of her. 

“Hey.” Link said, walking up to Amelia to kiss her. Scout made a face at them. The duo laughed at him. “Buddy, why don’t you go upstairs so mom and I can talk.” Scout stuck his tongue out, but raced up the stairs anyway. Amelia sighed and sat on the couch. Link got behind the couch and started rubbing her shoulders. “I heard about what happened with Levi.” 

“Yeah. I thought today was the day and it-it wasn’t. DeLuca said he ripped his IV out. I need Tom to be taken off the case. Or I need him to step away and not see Levi. He-he’s a mess and he doesn’t need stress. That seems to be all Tom causes him.”

“Amelia?”

“Hm?”

“You’re the Chief of Neurosurgery along with the head of Levi’s case. Kick him off.”

Amelia turned around and looked at him. “Oh, I love you, you’re so smart.” Link snorted.

“No, I’m not. I have no idea how I graduated Med school or college.” She laughed.

Jo walked into the house and sat down on the couch. “Anyone home?” She yelled throughout the house. Silence. “Okay. Just me.” Then the front door opened. She groaned and flopped on her bed. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Doctor Wilson. I can leave.” Vic said, walking into the living room. She threw her bag at Jo and laughed. “Travis is staying at the hospital late tonight. Said he’s, and I quote, ‘milking all the visitation I can’. I hate them.”

Jo nodded. “How the hell are they so happy? It’s so unfair. I wanna be stupid happy in love.” Vic sat down next to her. “I mean, they’re so in love.” They looked at each other.

“I know. I hate it. How’s work?” 

“Full of endorphins. I’m happy. I love working with Carina and I love my pink scrubs and I love being an OB. What about you?”

“Uh, well, today I got to save a woman from a house fire. She lost everything and now has to live in a shelter. I make money from fires. The bigger the fire, the better my paycheck. I’m an awful, awful person.” Vic and Jo laughed.

“Oh, my god. You are awful."

“Whatever. I’m going to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow. You should go to bed too.”

“I’m gonna wait up for Travis to make sure he gets here safe.” Vic nodded and stood up. She made her way upstairs and Jo watched her disappear.

A knock woke Levi up from his sleep. “Good morning, Levi.” Casey walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

“Morning.” Levi greeted. He smiled at Casey. “Are you rounding on me?”

Casey shook his head. “No. I’m here solely as a friend.” Casey sat down next to him. “I got engaged.”

“So, I heard. I’m glad. I love her. She’s a sweetheart.” Casey nodded again. “She’s lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one.” He sighed. “Do-do you remember anything from the plane crash?” Levi tensed up and Casey grabbed his hand. “I know. It-it’s awful, but we should talk about it.” Levi nodded.

“Uh, I remember feeling wind turbulence. Being told to put our seatbelts on and-then it fell apart-it all fell apart and-and-and we-we were falling. I-I-” Casey tightened his grip on Levi’s hand. “Then pain and-so-so much pain. Then nothing.” He nodded.

“You were comatose for awhile. You went comatose while we were waiting for help.” Levi nodded. “We had kept you breathing, sometimes doing CPR to keep you alive. For the most part we were okay.”    


“How long were we out there?”

“I think it was a little less than a week. Maybe four days? I’m not too sure. It all blurred together. The days and nights, it was all so awful.” Levi nodded again. “Uh, um, do-do you remember talking to Nico after the crash?”

Levi took a deep breath and thought for a moment. “No, no. Not at all.”

Travis walked into the kitchen and saw Vic and Jo eating breakfast. “Morning, bitch!” Jo greeted. Travis rolled his eyes and grabbed a banana. “How was Levi when you left the hospital?” 

Vic turned to her. “Thought you were staying up till he got home?” Jo opened her mouth.

“When I got here, she was passed out on the couch.”

“Typical Jo Wilson.” 

“Oh, shut up!” Jo threw a piece of food at her. “Now answer my question.”

Travis sat down next to Vic. “He’s good. He’s in pain and wants to get up and walk, but he’s good. He’s alive.” Jo figured it was more for himself than her as he nodded. She smiled. 

“Well, I have to go before Carina kicks my butt. Will either of you be at the hospital today?” SHe asked, standing up and throwing away her garbage. 

“Uh, I'll be there after I’m done at the station. Vic?”

“Yeah, no, I can come tonight. I’d love to.” She smiled. 

“Okay, bye.” Jo said, gathering her things before walking out the door.

“What the hell do you mean I’m off the case?!” Tom yelled at Amelia. She glared at him.

“Tom, all you’ve done since Levi woke up is cause him immense stress!” She yelled back.

“DeLuca’s complaint isn’t the first! I’ve had complaints from Maggie, Parker, multiple nurses, and Simms! So, Tom, you’re. Off. His. Case. There are no objections. I’m not talking about it. You’re done.” Tom glared at her before walking out of the lab.

A knock interrupted Casey and Levi’s talking. Andrew and Blake walked in. Blake pushing a wheelchair.

“Parker, you mind helping us?” Andrew asked. “Today is the day that Levi gets out of this room. And no one will be interrupting us. Tom’s off your case.”

“Yeah, so don’t worry about him.” Blake added. Levi nodded.

“I’d be happy to help.” Casey said, standing up, moving the chair out of the way. Blake moved the wheelchair up against the bed and put the brakes on.

“Levi, this is gonna hurt like hell. You know that and we know that, okay?”Andrew put a hand on his shoulder. Levi swallowed hard and nodded. “If at any time you want out, you say so, okay?” He nodded again. “Okay then.” Andrew unhooked his wires and placed his IV in the wheelchair. “On three.” Blake and Andrew were each on one side of Levi. Casey stood behind the wheelchair. “One… Two… Three.” Andrew and Blake lifted and Levi’s screams echoed throughout the room. 

“Gotta get through this, okay? Get through the pain.” Blake responded to the screams. Levi was out of the bed and placed into the wheelchair. His screams died down as he was placed in the chair. Blake, Casey, and Andrew shared a look. “How’s that feel?” Blake asked. Levi grit his teeth and sucked in some air.

“Hurts. So bad.”

“Okay. How about we go grab some lunch?” Andrew asked. Levi looked at him, his arms shaking. He nodded. 

Blake pushed the wheelchair into the café and up to a table. “Anything special you want?” Casey asked. Levi looked at the group. 

“Smoothie and something not hard or chewy.” Casey looked at Andrew, who nodded and went to grab the food. Casey and Blake sat down. 

“How you feeling now?” Blake asked. Levi gave him a look.

“Everything hurts, but the morphine helps. A little.” Blake nodded and placed his hand in Levi’s. Levi put his other hand on top of Blake’s. “Thank you.” His voice was barely above a whisper. 

“Anyone sitting here?” A voice asked. Levi craned his neck before hissing in pain. The person put their hands on his shoulders. “Don’t crane your neck like that. Amelia, Tom, and Blake will kill you.” Blake laughed. Jo stepped into Levi’s field of vision and sat next to him. “Nice to see you out of bed.”

“Yeah,” a new voice joined the crew, “it really is.” Arma wrapped around Levi’s neck before he felt a kiss on his cheek. “Really, really is.” Travis kissed Levi again before sitting down next to him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Thanks for reminding me I’m gonna die alone.” Jo rolled her eyes. Andrew walked over to the group with trays full of food.

“Okay, we have a smoothie plus a pudding and fruit for Levi.” He sat Levi’s food down. “A sandwich for Casey.” He tossed a sandwich to Casey. “Another sandwich for Blake.” He tossed it to Blake. “Multiple beverages for multiple people.” He handed everyone their drinks, including Jo and Travis. “Pudding and fruit with mashed potatoes for Jo. Chicken for Travis and last, but not least, a ham sandwich for me.” After passing out the food, Andrew sat down. 

Nico heard a knock on his apartment door from his bedroom. He ignored and continued throwing clothes into his suitcase. They knocked again. He ignored it, walking over to his closet and grabbing more clothes. Whoever was at the door was persistent. He sighed and decided he should answer it. He walked into the living room and over to the door. He looked through the peephole before deciding to open it. He took a deep breath before opening it.

“What?” He asked, staring at the person.

“We need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, we should be getting ready to Grey's to return this month. I'm super sad about it not returning till March, but gives me more time to binge other shows lol


	7. With A Little Help From My Friends

“What?” Nico asked, staring at Amelia.

“We need to talk.” She responded, glaring at him with her arms crossed over her chest. 

***One Month Later***

Meredith walked into the attendings’ lounge and looked at Amelia, who was reading a piece of paper. “Anything interesting?” She asked walking over to the coffee pot. Amelia looked up at her.

“Oh, it’s just some notes from Levi’s case that I’m looking over.” She turned back to the paper.

“Hm. You know you’ve been calling him Levi instead of Schmitt?” Meredith asked, pouring a cup of coffee. 

“Yeah, I’m aware. After what happened Levi and Blake and Taryn and Casey seemed… easier to say then Schmitt or Simms, you know?” Meredith nodded and sat next to Amelia. Amelia sat down her paper and sighed.

***One Month Earlier***

“There’s nothing we need to talk about.” Nico said, closing the door as Amelia walked into his apartment. “I’m leaving.”

“Why?” She whirled around and stared at Nico. 

“I came here for Levi and he’s happy and in love and I stayed until he got better and now he is better so I am leaving.”

“DId you ever stop and think about what Levi wants?”

Nico snorted. “What he wants is Travis. They are happy together and I’m not gonna be the person who breaks them up.”

Amelia paused to think.

***Now***

Levi stared at the wall as he swung his feet over the bed. He took a deep breath and slowly lowered his body to the ground. He could feel the buttons of his feet touch the ground. He took another deep breath and grabbed his IV pole before pulling himself up. He stood there for a couple of seconds, smiling to himself before his legs gave out and he collapsed on the floor. “Agh!” He screamed as he face planted on the ground. He groaned and heard his door open. 

“Schmitt!” A familiar voice yelled racing over to him. He lifted his head and saw Meredith pressing the nurse button before she bent down and put a hand on Levi. “Are you okay?” She asked. “What happened?” Her voice was frantic. She almost sounded… worried. But that couldn’t have been right.

“I’m okay. I wanna to go to the bathroom without help.” Meredith sighed. Nurses came into the room.

“He’s okay, I got him now.” They nodded before leaving. “There’s no shame in asking for help, Schmitt.” Meredith helped him sit up against the bed. “Besides, your body still isn’t strong enough to be walking.”  
Levi felt something wet drip down his arm. He turned to look at it. “Oh.” He muttered. Meredith followed his case to his IV where blood was dripping from it. 

“You know they really oughta just put a central line in. That would be much easier to deal with.” Levi nodded. “I’ll have an order put in, but for now,” Meredith stood up and grabbed some pads, “let’s get that out.”

Blake was patient. He knew that. In order to work on the most important part of the human body, you had to be patient. There were no ifs or buts when it came to the brain. At the same time, he lacked patience. For the seventh thousand time since Tom was kicked off Levi’s case, he was screaming… again. “Tom, I just-”

“This is ridiculous!”

“Tom, listen-”

“Schmitt should not have been up and moving! His body wasn’t ready!”

“Tom, I get i-”

“Does she listen to me? Nope! What do I know? I’m only a world renown surgeon!”

“Tom!” Blake yelled. He had no more patience left. “I get it. You’re angry, you’re upset, but this,” Blake gestured, “isn’t about you, it’s not about me, it’s not about Amelia, it’s about Levi! Levi who needs to decide for himself what he wants to do and how he wants to live so stop being selfish!” For the first time in a while, Tom was silent. 

Tom took a deep breath. “Get out.” Blake opened his mouth. “Get out!” Tom picked up a folder and threw it at Blake. “I said ‘get out’!” He stared at Tom for a minute before walking out. 

***One Month Earlier***

“He’s hurting. He could need you.” Nico let out a growl at Amelia and continued packing. “He said he loved you-”

“He was dying! He would’ve said it to anyone. Look, dying is… it’s lonely. I know that more than anyone. When I had COVID, all I wanted was someone by my bed, telling me they loved me. It was the same thing with Levi. He loves Travis and he’s happy. I don’t know what I expected to come back to after everything happened. I left for years and, I-I didn’t even say goodbye to him. I know that must’ve broken him. Shattered his spirit. He loved me and I took that love and left. I left him without so much as a goodbye. I left in the middle of the night. He didn’t know until Link told him. I don’t deserve him. He-he’s too good for me. Now, please, leave.”

Amelia stared at Nico’s back. He put shirts and clothes into his suitcase. She sighed before deciding it was time to go. She walked over to the door, gave Nico one last look and left. 

***Now***

Levi stared at the monitor. Well, less of staring and more of glaring. The machine beeped in annoyance. He glared at it and sighed. A knock pulled him out of his staring. 

“Hey.” Link greeted, walking into the room. How you doing with walking?”

“Horrible.”

Link chuckled. “Doctor Grey told me about your face planting. Nice band-aid, by the way.” Levi reached up and touched his forehead and smiled.

“Not my… finest moment.” He let out a small chuckle. “Can I help you with something, Link?”

“Nope. I just wanted to check on you. At least you’re doing good. That’s what we like to see, but, hey, no more trying to walk without assistance. “ Levi nodded. “Okay. Rest.”

Nico placed his luggage on the track and made his way onto the plane. He found his seat and placed his carry on above him. He sat down and smiled. _A window seat._ He stared out the window. He sighed. Someone sat next to them, he turned and gave them a smile. He turned to look out the window again. He sighed again before standing up. “Excuse me.” He muttered stepping over the person and grabbing his carry on.

Amelia stared down at her hands, a smile finding its way to her lips. “Doctor Shepherd?” She heard a voice call. She looked up at the stall door. “Are you in here?”

“Uh, yeah. What’s up?”

“Doctor Hunt paged you. He has a patient in the pit with severe head trauma.”

“Uh, yeah, I’ll head down there.” She shoved her hands into her pockets and stood up and walked out of the stall. She smiled at the intern. “Okay, let’s go, Doctor James.”

At the entrance of the hospital, Travis walked in, checking his phone and smiling. In one hand his phone, the other a bag from Morrow’s. 

Nico walked to the door, his carry on bag slung over his shoulder, his suitcase in his hand. He stared at the door for a second. He went to turn away, but decided not to. He knocked on the door. A voice responded with come in. He took a deep breath and entered the room. Levi looked up from his phone. 

“Nico-”

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep saying to myself "I'm not gonna update this week, I haven't worked on anything" then boom I finish a chapter. Yo when I say my brain is weird, I mean it. Also I wanna get back to posting updates on thurdays instead of over the weekend.


	8. Yesterday

***One Year Ago***

“Nico, you left! You were-” 

“I know, okay, I know! But I’m here now-”

“In the middle of the night! You left! I had no idea until Link told me _two_ days later!”   


"Levi-”

“No!”

“Levi, please, just lis-”

Levi had tears in his eyes. The on-call room felt incredibly small for once. He put his hands on his hips. “Nico, I-” Then he raised a hand has some tears fell down his face. “I was-I was br-roken. You broke me. You-you le-left me. In the mi-ddle of the night like a co-coward.” He lifted his hand and wiped his eyes. He sniffled. “I-I-” Levi looked at the door. “Get out.”

***Now***

Amelia walked into the pit, her intern at her side. “So, where are we-”

“Trauma two.” She pointed. Amelia nodded and smiled, walking into trauma two. 

“Someone page Neuro?” She smirked, walking in. Owen chuckled at her and nodded. Owen moved out of her way, bumping into her slightly. “Whoops. Sorry, Owen. God, I feel like these rooms get smaller.” She joked and laughed. Owen and her intern laughed too. “Alright, what’s her name?”

“Carly Jones. She fell from a ten story building. Landed on her legs, but still managed to bump her head. We already paged your boyfriend to come down and look at her legs.” Owen answered, crossing his arms.

“Good.” Amelia walked into Carly’s field of vision. “Carly, hi, I’m Doctor Shepherd. Can you follow my fingers?” Amelia placed a finger in front of Carly’s face, her eyes followed them slightly. “Can you squeeze my hands?” Her grip was light. “Okay. You definitely wanna get her up to CT to rule out a brain bleed. She looks like she already has some brain damage. Page me when you need me.” She slapped Owen’s arm and walked out of the room, her intern at her side. She shoved her hands back into her pockets and froze, feeling around in them. “Shit.”

“Everything alright, Doctor Shepherd?” 

Amelia turned to her intern and smiled. “Uh, yeah. Stay here. I have to go ask Hunt something.” Her intern nodded. Amelia walked back into the room. 

“Forget something?” Owen asked, looking at her then turning back to the tablet.

“Uh, yeah. I dropped something.” She examined the floor. “It must’ve fallen out of my pocket when I walked into you?” Owen nodded. 

“It’s over here.” Amelia froze and looked up at him. He was holding back a smile. He sat down the tablet and turned to her. “Congratulations, Amelia.”

Amelia smiled. “I’m not that far along. Only a couple of weeks.” She shimmied by him and grabbed the test. “I’m just gonna-” She tossed it into the garbage can. “Don’t tell Link.”

Owen nodded. “I won’t.” She nodded and walked out of the room. 

“Wow, look at you at that beautiful baby!” Jo exclaimed, walking into the room. “Have you and Quinn decided a name?” Jo’s patient looked up at her then back down at her baby.

“They want to name him Alex and it’s cute and non-binary, but I’m in love with Logan.” Jo smiled. “What do you think, Doctor Wilson? If you had a baby boy what would you name him?”

“Amy, he’s not my-”

“Please.”

Jo sighed. “Well, I’ve always loved the name Sean.”

“Sean. That-that’s lovely. I love it, thank you, Doctor Wilson.”

“I come bearing horrible hospital food. Oh, hi, Doctor Wilson.” Quinn walked into the room, holding a tray of food. “Can we help you?” They asked. Jo shook her head.

“Nope, just came to see how mom and baby were doing. Both seem to be doing great, so I’ll leave you be.” She smiled at the duo before walking out.

Taryn took a deep breath and walked into Bailey’s office. “Chief, hi, can I-”

“You wanna come back to work here?”

Taryn went silent. She nodded. “Yes, if that’s okay, Chief.” Bailey nodded.

“Well, we need more General Surgeons.” Taryn smiled. “Welcome back, Doctor Helm.”

Taryn nodded before getting up and left. She rounded the corner and saw Casey. She pulled a pen from her pocket and tossed it at him. He looked up from the tablet and saw her. Casey smiled. “Guess who’s back!” Taryn pulled him into a hug. “It feels good to be back.”

He nodded and pulled away. “It’s good to have you back. How’s Doctor Robbins?”

“Unnervingly happy.” The duo laughed. “No, Arizona, she’s great. I loved working in New York with her, but…”

“Levi’s here.”

“Yeah. He’s here and I need him.”

“I can’t believe you got a plane.” They walked into the cafeteria and sat down at a table. “I haven’t been able to get on one since. It’s…”

“Too much?” Taryn finished for him. Casey nodded. “Yeah, no, it, uh, it was hard. I only got through because Arizona wrote me a prescription for Xanax. That was the only thing that got me through the plane ride. I mean, even with it, I still panicked whenever we had even the slightest amount of turbulence.” Casey nodded again. He placed his hand on hers. 

“At least you can come to my wedding.” 

Meredith walked into the hall from an on-call room. “Oh, DeLuca in there?” Jo asked, rounding the corner.

“Oh, shut up.” Meredith shot back. Jo laughed at her. “I hate you. And those pink scrubs. I hate you for leaving general.”

“Oh, is someone not putting out?” Meredith rolled her eyes as the duo started walking. 

“Again, I hate you. Where you going?”

“To see Levi.”

“Of course you are.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where I’m going.” Jo laughed again and Meredith rolled her eyes, again.

Travis walked into the cafeteria. “Taryn?” He asked. Taryn turned around and smiled. She stood.

“Travis!” She pulled him into a hug. “Hey.”

“What are you doing back here?” He asked, pulling away. A smile dawned his lips. Taryn opened her mouth, but Casey was quicker.

“She’s coming back to Grey-Sloan.”

Travis smiled even bigger. “Oh, my god!” He sat down the bags and hugged her again. Taryn giggled. “Levi is gonna be so happy! Oh, we’re having lunch! You need to come with! Also we still have your old room at the house.”

“Yes, let’s go have lunch. “See you, Casey.” Taryn turned around and waved at Casey before picking up the bags and handing them to Travis. The duo walked out of the cafeteria.

Amelia had a bounce to her step as she walked down the hallway. Of course it was a barely noticeable bounce, but she could feel it. “Uh, Rayna?” She turned to her intern. “Can you go check on my post-ops while I go find Doctor Grey?”

Rayna smiled. “Yes, Doctor Shepherd.” 

“Thank you.”

Amelia turned the other direction and saw Meredith and Jo walking down the hallway. “hey , beautiful ladies.” She greeted them. “Where we going?” She asked, walking next to them?”

“We are going to see Schmitt?” Meredith answered.

“Oooh, can I join you?”

“No.” Jo answered, laughing. Amelia swatted her. 

“I love you.” Levi stared at Nico. “And I know you don’t love me, but, Levi, I love you. I love you so much an-and I was scared. I was so scared that if I let you in, if I loved you, you’d leave. You’d realize how imperfect I am and how you deserve better. So-so I-I left. I left and I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell you because I thought-I thought it would be easier for me. But it wasn’t. I realize that now. I’m leaving. I’m going back to California. Back to San Francisco. I’m gonna-I’m gonna let you have your life. I’m so sorry that I came back.” Nico turned around and walked to the door.

“You’re damn right I didn’t deserve you. I deserved so much better than you gave me. Then you left and it broke me. Then I put myself back together and then you came back after years of being gone. To tell me you love me and now you’re still going by that?” 

Nico bit his bottom lip and turned around to face Levi. He sat down his bag and let go of his suitcase. He walked over to Levi. Levi stared up at him. Nico put his hand on Levi’s cheek. Levi looked down at Nico’s lips then back up to his eyes. That was enough confirmation for Nico. He pressed his lips against Levi’s and kissed him. Levi kissed him back. Nico felt… whole. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a full day and almost forgot it was Thursday lol, but at least I didn't actually forget


	9. Love is A Losing Game

Their lips moved to gather. Levi’s hands came up to rest in Nico’s hair. Nico’s hands held Levi’s face. Nico pulled away first. “Nico-”

“Shh. Just for a moment.” Their voices were barely above a whisper. “Please.” Levi bit his lip. They were silent for a moment.

“Kiss me, again.” He did. He kissed Levi again. Levi’s hands tightened in his hair. They pulled away again to catch their breaths. 

“If you tell me to stay,” Levi looked up into Nico’s eyes, “then I will stay. Let’s give this another chance, Levi, please.” 

“What about Travis? I can’t-I can’t hurt him.”

Nico opened his mouth when a knock interrupted them. Two people walked in. Levi and Nico turned to the door. “Well, this is a turn of events…” Meredith said, Jo standing next to her. Jo’s mouth fell agape. 

“Levi…”

Levi felt tears swell in his eyes. He knew how they looked. Hair messed up, lips swollen. It didn’t take a scientist to know what happened before. Levi looked at the floor then back at Jo and Meredith. “I-I-Jo-” Amelia walked into the room with a smile that fell. She looked from Levi to Nico to Jo and Meredith. She smiled again. 

“I’m pregnant.” All eyes turned to her. “I’m only a few weeks, but I’m pregnant. I’m happy. I love Scout and I love Link and now we’re gonna bring another baby into this world and I’m happy even though it’s early and this,” she gestured to Nico and Levi, “I take the blame for this.” She smiled at Nico. “Are you getting back together?”

Travis and Taryn laughed as they walked down the hallway. They reached Levi’s room. “Moment of truth: you think he’s gonna be happy to see you?” He asked. Taryn nodded.

“Oh, the bitch better be.” She knocked on the door before entering. “Hey!”

Levi was walking out of the bathroom with a walker. “Taryn?” She nodded and walked into the room, pulling him into a hug. “You’re back?”

“I’m back.” Travis smiled at the duo and blew Levi a kiss.

***Six Months Later***

“Okay, eyes on me people!” Bailey yelled walking up the stairs. “To start this staff meeting off, I would like everyone to welcome back Doctor Schmitt.” Levi laughed at Bailey as applause erupted around him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and smiled at Link and Jackson. “Doctor Schmitt may be a fellow, but he is a respectable surgeon. Watch how you treat him, interns, residents. Next, if any of you have been paying attention to the weather you would know we are gonna be getting hit by a major storm. This will be all hands on deck! We are gonna do everything possible to keep our ER open for as long as possible, is that understood?” A series of ‘yes, chief’ was heard. Bailey nodded. “Alright, Hunt, Altman, Lincoln, Shepherd, and Grey are all in charge. They are my right hand men. You will listen to them.” Everyone nodded. “This storm is about three days out, so we will start preparing today. All of you will get a page of what you need to do to prepare. Okay, you can go now.” Everyone started to walk away. Levi started to make his way to the stairs. “Schmitt,” Bailey grabbed his arm, “welcome back.” She smiled. Levi nodded.

“Thank you, Chief.”

“Let me know if you need help today.” He nodded again. 

“Will do, Chief.”

“Schmitt, I think you’ve earned the right to call me Bailey.”

“Okay, Ch-Bailey.”

Bailey gave a smile before letting him go and walking away. Levi sighed and walked up the stairs. He grimaced and grabbed at his legs. He hissed in pain and grabbed the bannister. He continued making his way up the stairs. 

“You could take the elevator.” A voice said behind him. He smiled and turned his head to see Link standing behind him. 

“I thought we agreed I’m a big boy.” Link laughed. “Besides, I need the exercise.”

“You know there’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help.” Levi sighed.

“I know, I just-”

“Schmitt!” Hunt yelled. The duo turned around and saw Owen standing at the bottom of the staircase. “Can you come to the pit? I need a peds consult, but Hayes is busy.”

“Yeah. I’m coming.” Levi started descending the stairs. “I’m fine. Go be a doctor.” It was Link’s turn to sigh. He watched Levi walk with Owen. 

When Levi and Owen reached the pit, they saw a little girl and what Levi assumed was her dad sitting in a bed.

“Mister Lennox, this is Doctor Schmitt. He’s a peds fellow.” Lennox shook Levi’s hand. “He’s gonna take care of your daughter.” Owen handed him a tablet before walking away.

“Okay, hi, Emma. I see here you’re complaining of stomach pains and a fever?” Levi asked, looking from the tablet to Emma. She nodded. “Okay.” Levi sat the tablet down. “I’m just gonna lift up your shirt and feel your tummy, is that okay?” He asked, putting gloves on. She nodded again. Levi lifted up her shirt and felt around.

“Um, my daughter is mute, is that an issue?”

“No, of course not.” Levi reassured Mister Lennox, who sighed in relief. Levi felt around her stomach a little bit more before stopping. He took the gloves off and turned to her dad. “I’m gonna admit her into peds and order an ultrasound. Her symptoms are similar to that of appendicitis. He nodded.

“That-that’s fatal, right?”

“It can be, but only if it ruptures. We avoid that here.” He nodded again. Levi gave him a smile. He picked up the tablet and walked over to the nurse’s station. “Call in an order for an ultrasound for bed three, expedite it. I think she may have appendicitis. Have someone page me with the results.” A nurse nodded and started typing on her computer as Levi walked away. He scrolled through the tablet. 

“Good morning, Levi.” Amelia greeted, waddling over to him. “How you feeling?”

“Good.” In a way to humiliate him, a bout of pain shot through his legs. He grimaced and grabbed them, dropping the tablet. Amelia reached out to him. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m okay.” She pulled away and nodded. Levi picked up the tablet and sighed. “Shoot. I’m gonna have to explain to Bailey how this happened…” He stared at the cracked screen. Amelia looked at it.

“I’ll tell her I did it. Clumsy pregnant lady.” Levi smiled at her.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. Oh, also the rest of us are having dinner tonight. This is the last week we gotta wait about the court case. You're more than invited." She gave him a small smile.

“I'd love to and dinner sounds great, but-"

"Great. I will text you the details." She nodded, took the tablet from him, and started walking away from him.

He let out a hollow laugh. “Okay. See you then, I guess.” He shook his head and continued to walk down the hall. Pain shooting up through his legs with every step.

Jo walked out of her bedroom and smiled when she saw Vic. “Hey, beautiful.” She greeted the firefighter.

“What you got the day off or something, miss sunshine?” Jo laughed at her and grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard.

“Not that it’s your business, but yes.” She grabbed milk from the fridge and a bowl. “It feels good to just… be.” Vic laughed at her. 

“Hey, can I tell you a secret if you promise not to tell Levi?”

“I dunno, Vic. Levi is my first priority.” Vic gave her a look. “Okay, what is it?”

“Travis is thinking about proposing.” And with one sentence Jo felt her whole body go numb.

Levi walked into the on-call room and saw Nico laying on a bed. “Hey, can I borrow your ID card?” He asked. Nico sat up and looked at Levi.

“Yeah, sure, but why don’t you use yours.”

“Lost it.” Nico reached into his pocket and pulled it out. Levi walked over and grabbed it. He gave Nico a smile. “Thank you. I have to go help Amelia with something, but I’ll see you later.” Nico nodded and watched Levi walk out of the on-call room. 

Levi took a deep breath as he walked down the hall. He walked up to the medicine room. He stared at the door before nodding to himself and swiping Nico’s card. The door opened and he stepped in, making sure to close it behind him. He stared at the cabinets in front of him. He punched the code in and opened the door. He stared at the vials of morphine. He grabbed one and closed the cabinet door. He turned to walk out the door, but stopped. He turned back to the cabinet. He shook his head and shoved the vial into his pocket. He turned around and opened the door and walked out. He walked over to an unoccupied crash cart and grabbed a syringe. He found himself walking into an on-call room. Checking and double-checking he locked the door. He looked around the room and made sure it was just him. When he was sure he was alone, he sat down in front of the door. He took his white coat off and rolled up his sleeve of his scrub top. He filled up the syringe and made sure he got all the air bubbles out. He took a deep breath before pressing the syringe into his arm. He groaned and he pushed the medicine in. Once it was in he sighed and removed the syringe from his arm. He sighed and let his head fall against the door. “I’m not an addict.” He muttered to himself. “I… am not an addict.”

Amelia walked through the halls until she reached the break room. She sat down and smiled at Meredith, who had been sitting there reading a paper, prior to Amelia’s entrance. “Anything good?” Meredith looked at her and smiled, before setting the paper down.

“Just something about whipples. How’s waddling going?”

Amelia groaned. “It’s… going.” The duo laughed. “I’d forgotten how _awful_ it is to be pregnant. And this time, Link doesn’t want to know the gender.” Amelia rolled her eyes.

Meredith chuckled. “Those damn sperm donors. How dare they?”

“I know, right?”

“Hey, Amelia,” the duo turned and saw Nico at the entrance of the break room, “where’s Levi?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. He had something in the pit last I knew.”

“Hm. He said you needed him for something.”

“I did not.”

Nico nodded. “Thanks anyway.” He smiled before walking away. Meredith and Amelia shared a look.

“Are they back together?”

Amelia shrugged. “Link said Levi’s been giving him the cold shoulder so I don’t know.”

Levi raced into the pit. “What happened?” He asked the nurses who were surrounding Emma. Emma was unconscious and intubated. 

“We’re assuming her appendix ruptured. We paged you about her ultrasound. You should’ve been here awhile ago.” Levi ignored her comments and grabbed a portable ultrasound.

“Yeah. Her appendix ruptured. Let’s call the OR, let them know we’re in our way.” Her father stood off to the side.

“Doctor Sch-”

“We’ve got her, she’ll be okay.” Levi and his residents started moving the bed towards the OR floor. Thoughts flashing through his mind.

***Six Months Earlier***

“We want to take a look at everything that happened.” One of the lawyers, Gina, said, passing papers to each of the doctors. “Doctor Hannah Brody: deceased. Doctor Atticus Lincoln: severe concussion, trauma induced psychosis. Upon being airlifted to the nearest hospital in Ohio, Lincoln was sedated for several hours after he had attacked a group of doctors.” Link looked over the paper. Tears forming in his eyes. “Doctor Amelia Shepherd: head laceration, concussion, broken ankle that did require surgery later on along with trauma induced psychosis. Once at the hospital in Ohio, Shepherd had believed to not be in her own house and that she needed to go home. Once at Grey-Sloan she was admitted into the psych ward after she had attempted to take her own life from the PTSD that plagued her.” Amelia nodded to herself as Gina read over her part. “Doctor Taryn Helm: fractured leg that was originally thought to be a dislocated leg. Helm required surgery, a revision surgery, and another revision surgery.” Taryn flipped the page and took a deep breath at Blake’s name. “Doctor Blake Simms: crushed left leg that required surgery and a revision surgery. His right leg had required above knee amputation.” Blake sighed. “Doctor Casey Parker: Trauma induced psychosis. Parker had attacked multiple doctors and nurses. A couple months after he started working back at Grey-Sloan, he was again uncleared for more psychosis and was put on medication to help with psychosis. He also suffered a dislocated right arm.” Casey felt someone grab his hand. He turned his head and saw Taryn and gave her a smile before turning back to the paper. “Doctor Nico Kim: fractured right arm, emotional trauma. Kim had gone into emotional duress when Doctor Schmitt was rushed into emergency surgery and had needed to be sedated.” Nico looked up from his paper and across from him before looking back down. “Doctor Levi Schmitt,” Levi gritted his teeth when she had mentioned his name, “broken femur that required surgery and a revision surgery, broken shin bone which also required surgery and revision surgery, dislocated right arm, his vertebrae was broken in three places which required multiple surgeries to correct, he had suffered from locked jaw and had to have it dislocated by a doctor in Ohio.” She sat down her papers and the doctors followed suit. “We have an extremely good case in front of us. The question: do you want to pursue legal action?”

“Before you decide,” another lawyer, Max, interrupted, “you must realize that a full investigation will be done and it is possible the hospital could be found at fault.”

“But they wouldn’t be, right?” Amelia asked, looking around the table.

“It’s possible, Doctor Shepherd.” Gina answered, looking from her to the rest of the doctors around the table.

“I think a full investigation should be done. This happened once to this hospital,” Blake looked around the room, tears forming in his eyes, “it shouldn’t have happened again. There shouldn’t be any question on this.”

Levi nodded and looked at Nico, who sat across from him. “I agree with Blake.” He agreed. “This shouldn’t even be a debate. I say we pursue legal action.”

“If Levi’s in, I’m in.” Nico gave him a small smile. Levi turned away from him.

“Yeah same.” Taryn nodded. Casey made a noise in agreement too. 

Amelia and Link shared a look. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Link answered. Amelia stared at her hands. She looked back up and nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.”

***Now***

Levi took the appendage out and placed it on a tray nearby. “Nice work, Doctor Schmitt.” Cormac smiled under his mask at the fellow. “That was excellent work. How you feeling first day back?”

“I’m feeling great, Hayes. Couldn’t be better.” And it wasn’t a lie. He had no pain and he was happy. 

“I think you can have your resident close. Let’s go scrub out. I need to talk to you.” Levi nodded and had a nurse take his headlamp off. He walked out of the OR and threw his linen in the basket before scrubbing out. 

“Feels good to be back.” He smiled at Hayes as he washed his hands.

"Why didn’t you answer your pager, Schmitt?” Levi’s smile fell. He grabbed a towel and dried his hands. “Her appendix should have never burst. You should have had her in surgery as soon as you had the results.” 

Levi turned to Cormac. “I fell asleep in an on-call room. I’m sorry, Doctor Hayes.”

“I’m gonna let it slide because it’s your first day back, but, Schmitt, if it happens again, you will no longer be my fellow.” Levi nodded and watched Cormac walk away. He sighed and followed suit. He got into an elevator. He hit a floor button. When the elevator stopped again, he almost walked out, until he realized it wasn’t his floor. He nodded to himself and watched the doors open. His heart dropped when he saw Nico, who froze before walking in and pressing a button. “Here’s your card.” He said, handing it to Nico. He nodded and pressed another button, an alarm sounded throughout the elevator. “What are you-”

“Why did you lie to me? About Amelia?” He asked, turning to face Levi. Nico had tears in his eyes. “I don’t understand. I love you, we kiss, and then you give me the cold shoulder for _months_. Every time that I reached out to you, you ignored me. I get it, I hurt you, and you fixed yourself, and I am sorry.” The tears had started falling down his face. “I am sorry that I didn’t know how to love you years ago and I-” He wiped his face. “I love you. I love you so much, Levi. And I know-I know you’ve moved on. I know you’re happy and I am ready to leave. I am ready to go back to California, or New York. I just need to know that we,” he gestured between him and Levi, “that we are in the same place.” Levi had tears running down his face. “So, tell me. Tell me that we are in the same place so I can leave and never see you again.” Levi wiped his face. 

“I don’t want to hurt Travis.”

“That-Levi, look at me! This isn’t about him! It’s about you and it's about me! I am asking _you_ , how _you_ feel. Travis aside.” 

“I…” Levi sighed. “Nico, I-”

“You told me you loved me! After the plane crash and-” Levi snaked around him and hit the emergency button, making the elevator move. The doors opened and Levi rushed out, Nico following behind him. “Levi, listen!” Levi continued walking before he felt a hand around his arm and then being pulled into an on-call room. “Levi, please-”

“I was dying!” Levi finally yelled at the older man. “I don’t love you! I was dying and I was alone. I would’ve said I loved Taryn, but I don’t lo-” Nico kissed him. When they pulled away they were breathless.

“If you tell me to stop, “ Nico’s voice barely above a whisper, “then I will stop.

Silence enveloped the room as they rested their foreheads together. Nico trailed his thumb over Levi’s cheek.

“Nico, I-I-”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately this is gonna be the last chapter for a hot minute. College is back in full force and I've got proctor exams coming up, which my anxiety is saying a big fat no too lol, but I'll work on it when I find the time, though I don't know when that will be.  
> edit: i would just like to let everyone know that the hiatus is gonna be a little longer than i originally thought. long story short, thursday was extremely rough and i lost a loved one. thank you for understanding ❤️


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